allegedly fiction

There’s a regular client at the local food bank who is always on her phone. Shoppers are volunteers whose job is to walk with each client to guide them on how many of each item they can have.

Some days there are unlimited items, and rarely, there are specialty items like crab! The day my husband “worked” there was such a day. His client screamed so loudly it stopped everyone in their tracks and startled him.

There’s a corner he always sneezes at. He’s typically not allergic to much, except on maybe football day or night, especially as we get closer to the Superbowl.

Well, the phone lady came again during his shift. He told me about it because he was scheduled to leave. Her talking on the phone meant she wasn’t paying attention to him and they weren’t progressing through the food bank as steadily as other clients.

She apologized, as she did last time, when she said the same thing. She was on the phone with her child’s school. No other details, but it lasted through the whole shopping experience, which probably takes 20 minutes.

I understood the sense of being ignored when she should have been present where she was. That can be frustrating when you’re trying to be present with someone and they’re physically with you but also on the phone—not truly present where they are. It can feel like someone’s just rude or inconsiderate. Though it mattered much more 20 years ago.

Maybe not so much anymore. People might see someone fall in the parking lot. Instead of helping, they might turn on their phone to record it and not bother with the fallen. People often assume someone else might step in to help while they record and witness through their phone.

There’s actually a name for that. I’ll have to look it up, but I heard it on a podcast—how we are so much more desensitized as a culture.

And I find that to be true. What I wonder is if that is just us Americans or is this a global thing because of the IoT?

I love the internet. When I first signed up with my dial-up internet in the ’90s, I was hooked. I felt I had access to the biggest library in the world.

I love tech too. Our lives are enhanced in so many ways. But as we are connected to the world, we are also seemingly less humane and disconnected locally. And people seem meaner online. I often wonder if they would say some things face to face. Maybe it’s just me saying what I think I see.

And the woman on the phone with her child’s school? Maybe she was on the phone with them both times. Or maybe she is so disconnected from other people she is on the phone to avoid direct conversation.

I have no idea, but I am always curious what’s under the hood. What’s really happening? Why does she have to be on the phone right then? Was it urgent? Is her child ok?

And maybe she’s just socially disconnected while being connected to the world wide web.

Note: The phenomenon is likely the “bystander effect”—where people are less likely to help when others are present.